When Cristina and I got married, some people thought we got married young so the question of starting a family never really came up. As the years went by, subtle hints were dropped to probe us. As more years went by, subtlety was just dropped altogether. Cristina and I talked about kids all the time. We talked about how many we would have, what their names would be and what professions they would follow. We just never talked about when. I don't know how our parents and their parents decided when they were ready to become parents but we always felt like we just weren't ready to take on that sort of responsibility. That's kind of funny coming from a couple who got married and took on a mortgage at the age of 21 and 23, then moved to another country 5 years later for work. I've never been one to get nervous about anything but the idea of becoming a father always scared me a little. Every time someone asked when I would be ready, I'd always answer "maybe next year". I don't how it happened, but at some point in the last 6 months I suddenly felt I was ready. It was like the feeling I got when I finished studying for an exam, closed the text book and knew I was ready. So when the economic downturn forced our company to downsize, Cristina and I began discussing about starting a family. So in the middle of the global financial crisis and company downsizing what could be better than to throw a baby into the mix. Laugh and then spit in the face of adversity - that's how we roll :P We were both fortunate to be spared in the downsizing but Cristina was left with a critical position that would impact the company if she were to take extended leave for any reason. We decided it would be better for us, and the company, if we let them know our intentions and have Cristina voluntarily take the redundancy. They were disappointed that Cristina was leaving, but they were grateful for our disclosure...and so was the person Cristina recommended to take over her position.

After resigning, Cristina visited her doctor to get advice and have a general check up. Cristina decided she wanted 3 months to get her body in top-notch condition before getting pregnant. She biked daily, ate healthy and started her prenatals and after the 3 months was up, she felt ready. But we were warned not to get our hopes up and that conceiving could take anywhere from 6 to 12 months for a healthy couple. After the first month, Cristina couldn't wait to take the pregnancy test. She even took 2 tests to be sure. She probably took a third test and didn't tell me about it. They were all negative. Research indicated we had a 20% chance of conceiving each month so we figured it'd take time and to just let nature take it's course. But the wait didn't end up being long.

The day after Thanksgiving, we came home from our Black Friday shopping trip and I was just preparing to go to bed when Cristina asked me to check the study for a Netflix DVD she had just ordered. When I checked, I saw our copy of The Family Man DVD sitting on my desk. I thought it was strange for two reasons. Firstly, this was our DVD so it definitely wasn't from Netflix. Secondly, this DVD had special meaning to us and we promised that it would be the first DVD we would watch together when we found out we were pregnant. At this point, most reasonable people probably would have worked it out. Clearly I hadn't. When I opened the DVD, sitting in the case was the pregnancy test. I froze for a few seconds. My brain was still trying to process all the inputs. I picked up the stick and saw the two lines. Still processing. At least 5-10 seconds must have passed before it really registered but I didn't know how to react other than smile. I went back to Cristina, who was already waiting for me with a big smile, and hugged her in excitement...then we put on the DVD :).

I can't recall the last time I wrote a blog entry on here. I could always go through the archives to find out exactly how long it's been, but I wont. I feel guilty enough as it is :P. I'm truly impressed with Pete's perseverance to keep our site going, and surprised he continues to enjoy it even after 4 years running.

So, why have I slacked off? Pure laziness. It takes a lot of effort for me to write down my thoughts and feelings, and though I start off keenly committed, running out of steam is usually only a matter of time for me. I have many diaries laying around with only a quarter of its pages filled to further prove it. But, dare I say it, this time might just be different. Because this time, I'm not writing for me, not even for you, but for a little one that I've yet to meet, but have fallen so hard for already...

...yes, we're expecting our first baby this August!

To our surprise, we got pregnant our second month of trying to conceive, so it happened quite fast for us. But of course, it was hardly fast enough for our families. After all, Pete and I had been married eight and a half years by this time. We told our families the very day we found out, which fell on Black Friday 2009 (the most chaotic shopping day in the US). So Pete fears our little one will be born with a credit card in hand, to which my mum squealed, "The baby will love shopping just like MEEEE!".

Our pockets are hurting already.

I'm thirteen weeks today and entering my second trimester. I'm happy to say my energy and appetite have finally decided to make a reappearance. From about my 6th to 11th week I was rendered completely useless with constant bouts of nausea and exhaustion. I averaged 12 hours sleep a day and would still wake up feeling like I'd just run a marathon. I couldn't stand to step into our kitchen, let alone open our fridge door as certain smells became unbearable to me. Foods I used to love repelled me. It was so hard to think of what to eat each day because hardly anything seemed appetizing.

Throughout all this, Pete has been unfailingly helpful and understanding. He does all the housework, runs errands, grocery shops and even makes attempts at cooking, despite long days at work. He serves me breakfast, lunch & dinner in bed and sympathetically asks, "Is there anything I can do?" whenever I whine about one of my pregnancy symptoms. It's not just the hormones talking when I say I absolutely ADORE my husband.

The most moving experience so far for Pete and I during this pregnancy was our 12 week ultrasound. We got to hear the little one's strong heartbeat of 171bpm and seeing its perfect little profile and hands and feet move around on the screen made the pregnancy feel all the more "real" for us. This is really happening. We're going to be parents to this beautiful miracle...